What DC Comics Lurk In The Heart Of July 2012? I Know, Because I Have These Solicits, Let Me Show You Them

1 day, 85 or so issues, one somewhat annoyed guy! The Great Indoor Bitchfest begins here!

JUSTICE LEAGUE #11
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art and cover by JIM LEE and SCOTT WILLIAMS
Backup story art by GARY FRANK
Variant cover by BRYAN HITCH
1:100 Variant cover by JIM LEE
On sale JULY 18 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T
Combo Pack Edition: $4.99 US
Retailers: This issue will ship with three covers. Please see the order form for more information.
• “The Villain’s Journey” part three!
• Batman , Cyborg and Aquaman battle Element Woman!
• Continuing the origin of SHAZAM!
This issue is also offered as a combo pack edition with a redemption code for a digital download of this issue.

Yes, that’s right, it’s another issue of the greatest heroes this company has to offer being written as MASSIVE ASSHOLES! And Element Woman is back! Whoop-de-doo! And Captain Marvel Shazam is also an asshole! Because Geoff Johns has apparently never met a decent person in his life. And this will sell more issues than it deserves, because… I have no idea. People like Jim Lee, apparently.

JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #11
Written by DAN JURGENS
Art and cover by AARON LOPRESTI and MATT RYAN
Cover by DAVID FINCH and RICHARD FRIEND
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• “BREAKDOWN” part five!
• The team is defeated at the hands of The Burners – and not everyone will escape this epic alive!

All I can see when I look at that cover is Batwing longingly staring at Totally Not The Darkness’ ass. If you like pointless, unnecessary lines, this is the comic for you, apparently. Also, good job having the only women on the cover be either faceless, nondescript objects designed only for ass oglage or being choked by men.

EARTH 2 #3
Written by JAMES ROBINSON
Art by NICOLA SCOTT and TREVOR SCOTT
Cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO
1:25 B&W Variant cover by IVAN REIS
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• The all-new origin of ALAN SCOTT GREEN LANTERN – unlike any GL origin that’s come before!
• The debut of the all-new HAWKGIRL!
• And Jay Garrick, THE FLASH, meets his first Super Hero!

WORLDS’ FINEST #3
Written by PAUL LEVITZ
Art by GEORGE PEREZ, SCOTT KOBLISH and KEVIN MAGUIRE
Cover by GEORGE PEREZ
1:25 B&W Variant cover by GEORGE PEREZ
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• Huntress and Power Girl begin trying to track the “invader” who came through the Boom Tube from Earth 2 with them.
• More is revealed about the first five years our heroines spent stranded on our Earth.

Boom Tubes -> New Gods -> New Gods existing in Nu52 continuity -> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

AQUAMAN #11
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art and cover by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO
1:25 B&W Variant cover by IVAN REIS
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• “THE OTHERS” part five!
• AQUAMAN and THE OTHERS catch up with Black Manta – but are they really united as a team?

This does not make me think “Wow, who are The Others, I really want to read about them!”. This makes me think “Fuck, what dipshit decided to call what is likely supposed to be a superhero group The Others?”. It’s like Johns is outright saying “So Aquaman and these dumbshit motherfuckers that Cockwad over in editorial made me shove in the motherfucker go to fuck Black Manta right in his ass, but they ain’t a team or whatev, but seriously — Aquaman is the shit. He ain’t need no team. Skeet skeet, my ninja.”

WONDER WOMAN #11
Written by BRIAN AZZARELLO
Art and cover by CLIFF CHIANG
1:25 B&W Variant cover by CLIFF CHIANG
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• A new story begins as APOLLO makes his play for ZEUS’S throne – and WONDER WOMAN is the last obstacle in his way!
• As ZOLA goes into labor, a hideous secret is revealed!

Wait, Arnim Zola is pregnant? I wonder who’s the father? Is it that dreamy Johann, or the mysterious, brooding, and equally dreamy MODOK?

For serious, Cliff Chiang is the hotness, and I cannot wait to read this in trade.

CAPTAIN ATOM #11
Written by J.T. KRUL
Art and cover by FREDDIE E. WILLIAMS II
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• CAPTAIN ATOM has regained his human appearance – but how is this possible? What has he done to himself?
• Wishes are coming true all around him – what will the price be?

DC UNIVERSE PRESENTS #11
Written by JAMES ROBINSON
Art by BERNARD CHANG
Cover by RYAN SOOK
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• Vandal Savage unleashed!
• In the final chapter of this story, KASS is forced to make the ultimate choice between two killers – and her father may be the worse of them!

So basically this is DC Comics Presents: Silence Of The Lambs, with Vandal Savage as The Undertaker. Embrace the hate, Kass! Embrace the hate! IT WAS ME, KASS! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!

THE FLASH #11
Written by FRANCIS MANAPUL and BRIAN BUCCELLATO
Art and cover by FRANCIS MANAPUL
1:25 B&W Variant cover by FRANCIS MANAPUL
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• The New 52 debut of HEAT WAVE!
• THE FLASH is on a crash course with THE ROGUES!

The Flash is a pretty, pretty comic book. It’s loads of fun every month.

THE FURY OF FIRESTORM: THE NUCLEAR MEN #11
Written by ETHAN VAN SCIVER and JOE HARRIS
Art by YILDIRAY CINAR and NORM RAPMUND
Cover by ETHAN VAN SCIVER
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• JASON and FIREHAWK head to Russia and discover the secret origin of POZHAR!
• Ronnie, Rakshasa and Pozhar head to the wilds of mountainous Pakistan to continue their hunt for the heart of the rogue threat: ASHRA KHAN!

I don’t have a GIF to properly express my feelings about this comic, so I’ll just give a little hypothetical.

Curtain opens. 2 men are sitting across from each other at a table. The first man emotionlessly reads off the solicit text, an actual size display of the cover art sitting next to him. After he is finished reading, he asks the other man how he feels. The second man contemplates this for about 5 minutes, and then he, staring disaffectedly into the first man eyes all the while, removes his shoe, removes his sock, holds the sock in his hand, and slowly begins the hand gesture colloquially known as the “dismissive wanking motion”. His facial expression does not change as he gradually picks up speed, the motion of his arm seemingly the only motion in the room. After 7 minutes of this, he stops, mimes smoking a cigarette, gets up, and mimes slipping the now-soiled sock into a basket of laundry and beginning a load, before returning to his seat, putting his sock back on, and saying, in a passive voice, “That’s about it.” The two men share a look of mutual understanding, and then get up and leave the room. Curtain closes.

So yeah. That’s about it.

GREEN ARROW #11
Written by ANN NOCENTI
Art by HARVEY TOLIBAO
Cover by HOWARD PORTER
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• Beginning a new story in which OLIVER QUEEN returns to action in Seattle to discover that the city has fallen into the gutters during his absence.
• Who are the DARK ARROWS?

I like Ann Nocenti, and I like Green Arrow, so I think this’ll be pretty fun.

ROB LEIFELD #ROB LEIFELD
Rob Leifeld ROB LIEFELD
Rob Leifeld ROB LIEFELD Rob Leifeld FRANK TIERI
Rob Leifeld SCOTT CLARK Rob Leifeld DAVE BEATY
Rob Leifeld ROB LIEFELD
Rob Leifeld ROB LEIFELD • ROB LEIFELD pg, FC, $ROB LEIFELD US • RATED ROB LEIFELD
• ROB LEIFELD Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld ROB LEIFELD Rob Leifeld ROB LEIFELD!
• ROB LEIFELD Rob Leifeld ROB LEIFELD Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld Rob Leifeld! Fuck you, you’ll buy it anyway!

NATIONAL COMICS: ETERNITY #1
Written by JEFF LEMIRE
Art and cover by CULLY HAMNER
On sale JULY 25 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T
• An exciting new series of stand-alone comics that feature unique takes on classic characters!
• JEFF LEMIRE (ANIMAL MAN) and CULLY HAMNER (RED) bring a contemporary approach to the hero we used to know as KID ETERNITY!
• Can introverted medical examiner Kid Eternity solve a deadly crime in just 24 hours?

I love Jeff Lemire. I love Cully Hamner. Kid Eternity may well have been the first Grant Morrison comic I ever read. This makes me giddy with joy, and I am strongly considering buying at least this one issue. At least I’m sure there will be no Subway Breakfast Raps in this comic. And that’s certainly a plus.

Before Watchmen:

I assume that’s all I have to say here.

 ACTION COMICS #11
Written by GRANT MORRISON
Backup story written by SHOLLY FISCH
Art by RAGS MORALES and RICK BRYANT
Backup story art by BRAD WALKER
Cover by RAGS MORALES
Variant cover by CULLY HAMNER
1:100 B&W Variant cover by RAGS MORALES
On sale JULY 4 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T
Combo Pack Edition: $4.99 US
Retailers: This issue will ship with three covers. Please see the order form for more information.
• Superman’s NEW secret identity revealed!
• LOIS LANE continues her investigation into the mystery of Earth’s FIRST Superman!
• Plus, in the backup story: We know where Superman got his armor costume, but where did he get all those “S” T-shirts?
This issue is also offered as a combo pack edition with a redemption code for a digital download of this issue.

This issue: Superman, Silkscreener of Steel!

SUPERMAN #11
Written by DAN JURGENS
Art by DAN JURGENS and JESUS MERINO
Cover by DAN JURGENS and NORM RAPMUND
1:25 B&W Variant cover by DAN JURGENS and
NORM RAPMUND
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the order form for more information.
• A powerful and violent being from a different dimension has been mistakenly brought to Earth – and only SUPERMAN can stop it!
• What is the true nature of SUPERMAN’S costume?

There’s really no reason that the book titled SUPERMAN should be the second-rate Superman comic. Simply no reason.

SUPERBOY #11
Written by SCOTT LOBDELL
Art by R.B. SILVA and ROB LEAN
Cover by SCOTT CLARK and DAVE BEATY
On sale JULY 11 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• SUPERBOY’S spent his whole short life in the clutches of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. – so now that he’s free, where will he live? How about NEW YORK CITY?
• Guest-starring TEEN TITANS teammate BUNKER as they try to stop the rampage of the monstrous DETRITUS!

Bunker looks like the 3rd alternate costume for Iron Fist in a Capcom fighting game that nobody uses because the green and yellow are by default the best. And I’m pretty sure that the villain here was the same villain from that OMAC episode of BATB.

SUPERGIRL #11
Written by MICHAEL GREEN and MIKE JOHNSON
Art and cover by MAHMUD ASRAR
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• It’s Supergirl’s first date on Earth – which means it’s time for a new villain to attack and Supergirl to figure out…she has new powers?

I’ve only read one thing by Green and Johnson, and that (a Superman/Batman arc where the Justice League merged with the Teen Titans or something) was unreadable dogshit. I’ve heard this is better, but I still can’t bring myself to care.

Smallville Season 11 does not merit inclusion in this column, as it is so very nondescript that I doubt its existence.

BATMAN, INCORPORATED #3
Written by GRANT MORRISON
Art and cover by CHRIS BURNHAM
Variant cover by JAY FABOK
1:100 B&W Variant cover by CHRIS BURNHAM
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Combo Pack Edition: $3.99
Retailers: This issue will ship with three covers. Please see the order form for more information.
• The DC COMIC – THE NEW 52 debut of…MATCHES MALONE??
• BATMAN is hot on the trail of whoever is trying to kill DAMIAN – and he’s not going to like what he finds!
This issue is also offered as a combo pack edition with a redemption code for a digital download of this issue.

I love Batman Inc., Morrison, Burnham, and Matches Malone. This is my crack. If you don’t buy this, you are officially the worst.

BATMAN #11
Written by SCOTT SNYDER
Backup story written by SCOTT SNYDER and JAMES TYNION IV
Art by GREG CAPULLO and JONATHAN GLAPION
Backup story art by RAFAEL ALBUQUERQUE
Cover by GREG CAPULLO
Variant cover by ANDY CLARKE
1:100 B&W Variant cover by GREG CAPULLO
On sale JULY 11 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T
Combo Pack Edition: $4.99
Retailers: This issue will ship with three covers. Please see the order form for more information.
• The stunning conclusion to “THE COURT OF OWLS” epic!
• All is revealed in “THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF WAYNE.”
This issue is also offered as a combo pack edition with a redemption code for a digital download of this issue.

I’m reading this in trade, and I’m kind of glad I am. 11 issues for one storyline. I could not imagine reading this in monthly chunks.

DETECTIVE COMICS #11
Written by TONY S. DANIEL
Art by ED BENES and ROB HUNTER
Backup story art by SZYMON KUDRANSKI
Cover by TONY S. DANIEL
1:25 B&W Variant cover by TONY S. DANIEL
On sale JULY 4 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T
Combo Pack Edition: $4.99 US
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• The connection between HYPNOTIC and the attacks on Wayne Enterprises is revealed!
• Plus, the latest chapter in the TWO-FACE backup story.
This issue is also offered as a combo pack edition with a redemption code for a digital download of this issue.

This comic is the worst. That thing I used to describe Firestorm applies here, except they are both very angry.

BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT #11
Written by GREGG HURWITZ
Art and cover by DAVID FINCH and RICHARD FRIEND
1:25 Variant cover by DAVID FINCH and RICHARD FRIEND
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• SCARECROW makes a bold move against BATMAN, using COMMISSIONER GORDON as bait!
• The terrifying pasts of both SCARECROW and BATMAN come back to haunt them!

This comic is the double worst. It is pointless and stupid and crass, and everyone who buys it is pretty much sucking off Hitler. The same thing I used to describe how I feel about Firestorm applies here, except both the men are incredibly angry and instead of leaving the room, they both shoot themselves in the head.

BATMAN AND ROBIN #11
Written by PETER J. TOMASI
Art and cover by PATRICK GLEASON and MICK GRAY
On sale JULY 11 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• DAMIAN makes good on his decision to defeat each ROBIN, and in a brilliant show of arrogance, starts with RED HOOD!
• The army of BATFREAKS is dead set on avenging their plight starts with the people of Gotham City!

BATWOMAN #11
Written by J.H. WILLIAMS III and W. HADEN BLACKMAN
Art by TREVOR McCARTHY
Cover by J.H. WILLIAMS III
1:25 B&W Variant cover by J.H. WILLIAMS III
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. The variant cover will feature the standard edition cover in a wraparound format.
• The conclusion of “TO DROWN THE WORLD”!
• BATWOMAN, CHASE, and the D.E.O. battle Gotham City’s URBAN LEGENDS in hope of finding the missing children.

JH Williams draws well. Trevor McCarthy does not draw all that well. But Trevor McCarthy still draws very well. Nobody reads this for the words. Nobody.

BATWING #11
Written by JUDD WINICK
Art by MARCUS TO and RYAN WINN
Cover by MARCUS TO
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• BATWING faces off against the deadly Beijing gangster dragon known as LONG!
• Guest-starring NIGHTWING!
• BATWING’S armor is equipped with a new array of Bat-gadgets!

pff, Long. Hehe. Long like a penis. Which he resembles. Heh.

BATGIRL #11
Written by GAIL SIMONE
Art by ARDIAN SYAF and VICENTE CIFUENTES
Cover by STANLEY “ARTGERM” LAU
On sale JULY 11 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• Part two-of the introduction of KNIGHTFALL – BATGIRL’S deadliest foe yet!
• BATGIRL takes on three new foes – the henchmen of GOTHAM CITY’S new super-villain, KNIGHTFALL!

Knightfall. That’s what you’re calling the villain here, huh? Wow.

BIRDS OF PREY #11
Written by DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI
Art by TRAVEL FOREMAN and JEFF HUET
Cover by STANLEY “ARTGERM” LAU
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• POISON IVY – savior of THE GREEN?
• The team is in the jungles of the Amazon and the boardrooms of Dubai, where the Birds must make a deal with the Devil!
• A shocking ending you can’t afford to miss!

Man, this really does not seem as interesting as it should.

Written by JUDD WINICK
Art and cover by GUILLEM MARCH
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
• On the trail of DOLLHOUSE!
• CATWOMAN and her new partner, SPARK, take their relationship to a very intimate level!
• How will this affect Catwoman’s secret partnership with DETECTIVE ALVAREZ?

Wow, Winick. Laying the thick, creamy, white, sticky subtext on with a purple, rigid, bulbous, veiny firehose there.

RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS #11
Written by SCOTT LOBDELL
Art and cover by KENNETH ROCAFORT
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• “DEAD SPACE” continues!
• STARFIRE is unleashed in an epic space battle!
• THE OUTLAWS take on BLACKFIRE and her new allies, THE BLIGHT!

Boring, lame characters… IN SPAAAAAAAACE! ALSO TITTIIIIIIIIIIIES!

NIGHTWING #11
Written by KYLE HIGGINS
Art by EDDY BARROWS, RUY JOSE and EBER FERREIRA
Cover by EDDY BARROWS
On sale JULY 18 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• “The Republic of Tomorrow, Today ” continues!
• NIGHTWING faces off against PARAGON, the leader of an anti-GOTHAM CITY group!

So wait, there are terrorist groups that aren’t promoting any economic/political/religious/moral cause, but instead just have a hate boner for one specific city? Only in Gotham.

BATMAN: ARKHAM UNHINGED #4
Written by DEREK FRIDOLFS and PAUL DINI
Art by PETE WOODS, AL BARRIONUEVO and JIMBO SALGADO
Cover by BRANDON BADEAUX
On sale JULY 11 • 40 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• Three stories!
• Are conflicting BATMAN sightings by ARKHAM inmates real – or imagined?
• HARLEY QUINN’S jealous over THE JOKER’S new best buddy!
• HUGO STRANGE has a deal for a desperate MR. FREEZE!

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously. That’s your cover. What appears to be a pile of ham hocks shoved into spandex. That’s what you went with. Jesus.

BATMAN BEYOND UNLIMITED #6
Written by ADAM BEECHEN, J.T. KRUL, DUSTIN NGUYEN and DEREK FRIDOLFS
Art by NORM BREYFOGLE, HOWARD PORTER and LIVESAY
Cover by DUSTIN NGUYEN
On sale JULY 18 • 48 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T
• The multi-part epic “10,000 CLOWNS” begins here!
• BATMAN scrambles to thwart simultaneous attacks by THE JOKER!
• Secrets are revealed on APOKOLIPS as the LEAGUE prepares for all-out war with KOBRA!

Yes, the 10,000 Maniacs/ICP crossover nobody demanded begins here. Dustin Nguyen is awesome, and so is Norm Breyfogle, but literally everyone else listed provokes deep, lasting feelings of profound ennui.

Green Lantern, including the other books that feature members of the GLC:

RED LANTERNS #11
Written by PETER MILLIGAN
Art by MIGUEL SEPULVEDA
Cover by ED BENES
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
• There’s going to be hell to pay as ATROCITUS continues his lone search for ABYSMUS and more poisoned members of his corps die!
• RED LANTERN BLEEZ vs. STAR SAPPHIRE FATALITY!
• With the entire corps poisoned, only a handful of RED LANTERNS are left alive!

Remember when Peter Milligan made good comics? That’s actually still happening, in books that aren’t this. Buy those, not this.

DIAL H #3
Written by CHINA MIEVILLE
Art by MATEUS SANTOLOUCO
Cover by BRIAN BOLLAND
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
• Nelson gains an unlikely ally, just as his career as a hero looks like it might be over before it’s begun!
• Meanwhile, SQUID and X.N. may be gaining a new ally of their own, one who could prove to be unstoppable.
• The origin of the latest wielder of the H dial continues here!

I kinda want to read some of China Mieville’s novels before I read this. Just to get a feel for how this guy goes about it.

SWAMP THING #11
Written by SCOTT SNYDER
Art by MARCO RUDY
Cover by YANICK PAQUETTE
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
• Part two of ANTON ARCANE’S return, as his role in the mythology of THE ROT is revealed!
• Do NOT miss the final page of this issue!

The same sentiment I expressed about Batman applies here: I cannot imagine reading Scott Snyder’s stuff monthly. There’s a reason why Kubrick didn’t make The Shining a TV series.

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #11
Written by JEFF LEMIRE
Art by MIKEL JANIN
Cover by RYAN SOOK
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• The secrets of the BLACK ROOM revealed!
• The team arrives at ARGUS for round two with the DEMONS THREE!
• JOHN CONSTANTINE discovers the location of one of the DC Universe’s most secret artifacts!

Man, I like Lemire, but I’m not planning on following him to JLD. Matt Kindt seems like he’ll be really be interesting on Frankenstein.

ANIMAL MAN #11
Written by JEFF LEMIRE
Art and cover by STEVE PUGH
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
• The stunning conclusion of “Extinction Is Forever”!
• Big things are in store for the next chapter in the Animal Man saga – and they start here!

Steve Pugh seems to really be following in the same vein as Foreman here. s’cool.

FRANKENSTEIN, AGENT OF S.H.A.D.E. #11
Written by MATT KINDT
Art and cover by ALBERTO PONTICELLI and WAYNE FAUCHER
On sale JULY 11 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• “Son of Satan’s Ring” part two!
• FRANKENSTEIN and NINA are swallowed by the LEVIATHAN, a whale-like beast that contains an entire city inside of it. Luckily this is where they need to be to track down the S.H.A.D.E. mole!

HELL.

YES.

That goddamn inker, Walden Wong or summat, is off Frankenstein. Thank god. Also, “Son of Satan’s Ring” is the baddest-ass title.

I, VAMPIRE #11
Written by JOSHUA HALE FIALKOV
Art by ANDREA SORRENTINO
Cover by CLAYTON CRAIN
On sale JULY 25 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
• Vampires. Versus. Zombies. Exclamation point!!
• What happens when a zombie bites a vampire? What happens when a vampire turns a zombie? Find out all the gory details here!

That is not clothes, that is someone painting a Barbie. That does not even convince me in the slightest that the dude here did not just computer up a naked lady and paint on her so you could see most of the titty, but not the whole titty, because she’s technically not naked if the nipple isn’t visible. Protip.

RESURRECTION MAN #11
Written by DAN ABNETT and ANDY LANNING
Art by JESUS SAIZ
Cover by PETE WOODS
On sale JULY 11 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T+
• Mitch and Kim are on a desperate search for the TRANSHUMAN!
• The BODY DOUBLES attack!

Man, I’m pretty sure the original series had gotten farther than this, and had possibly gotten past the Doubles by now.

DEMON KNIGHTS #11
Written by PAUL CORNELL
Art by DIOGENES NEVES and OCLAIR ALBERT
Cover by PHILIP TAN
On sale JULY 11 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • RATED T
• The dark magic of CAMELOT’S ruins has brought out the team’s essential natures – and essentially, they’re monsters!
• The road to Avalon is blocked by a most unexpected threat!
• What horrific betrayal does ETRIGAN have in store?

Man, Philip Tan. Dude just sucks nuts.

Night Force and The Shade are both things I’m interested in, but am not interested in enough to get in singles. I’ll probably get them in trade.

Voodoo, Suicide Squad, GI Combat, and Stormwatch:

ALL-STAR WESTERN #11
Written by JUSTIN GRAY and JIMMY PALMIOTTI
Art by MORITAT
Backup story art by SCOTT KOLINS
Cover by RAFA GARRES
On sale JULY 25 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T+
• JONAH HEX and TALLULAH BLACK face the Lord of Assassins’ steam-powered death machine.
• Introducing TERRENCE 13 in a new backup story!

Goddamn, I wish I hadn’t quit on this one. Scott Kolins, Rafa Garres, Moritat, and old-timey skeptics? If only I could spare the scratch.

Literally everything in the “Young Justice” category:

PUNK ROCK JESUS #1
Written by SEAN MURPHY
Art and cover by SEAN MURPHY
On sale JULY 11 • 32 pg, B&W, no interior ads, 1 of 5, $2.99 US • MATURE READERS

The newest reality show hit has the unlikeliest celebrity of all in this new black and white miniseries from writer/artist Sean Murphy (JOE THE BARBARIAN, Off Road)!
J2, the TV series starring a clone of Jesus Christ, causes chaos across a near-future United States in PUNK ROCK JESUS, a new miniseries written and drawn by Sean Murphy, the acclaimed illustrator of JOE THE BARBARIAN and AMERICAN VAMPIRE: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.
J2 causes outrage and adulation. Religious zealots either love or hate the show, angry politicians worry about its influence on the nation, and members of the scientific community fear the implications of cloning a human being at all – let alone the Son of God. And what effect will this all have on Gwen, the young woman who is selected, through an American Idol-style process, to be the mother of the new Messiah?
All this leads to the hiring of Thomas McKael, the clone’s bodyguard and a former IRA operative with a turbulent past who must protect the new Messiah – a baby who captivates the world, but grows up to become an angry teenager.

LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT. I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! I need this in my life.

All the rest of the Vertigo stuff is interesting, and I will most likely be reading it in trade from the library.

The Johnny DC stuff all looks fun.

HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE #1
Written by JAMES ROBINSON
Art and cover by PHILIP TAN and RUY JOSE
1:25 Variant cover by DAVE WILKINS
On sale JULY 4 • 32 pg, FC, 1 of 6, $2.99 US
Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the order form for more information.
• HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE return to comics in an all-new miniseries!
• SKELETOR strikes with his master plan to rule ETERNIA!
• Can ADAM and the MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE remember what ETERNIA was like in time to save it?

Post-Starman James Robinson: Check

Philip Tan: Check

A Property Nobody Actually Cares About Outside Of Nostalgia: Check

Yep, it’s complete dogshit.

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