Rock And Roll Dracula High School

We all know about the 1979 Roger Corman classic Rock And Roll High School starring The Ramones and Clint Howard. But what if that high school… was the popular children’s doll series Monster High?

I think it’d go a little something…. like this.

BARRY RAMOAN
Y’know, Bobby, Bert, Brumpo, when we came to this high school I thought we were in for the fright of our lives. But it turns out, being a Dracula or a Frankenstein or an Abominable Snowwoman is one of the most punk things you can be. So let’s play this prom, and play it so punkly that all other high schools, Dracula, non-Dracula, partially Dracula, whatever, will be talking about it for the next 6 months at least!

EVERYONE
YEAH!

CUT TO Monster High Prom. The Ramoans are on stage playing “Rock And Roll Dracula High School”, the theme for this episode and/or original DTV movie. Everyone is dancing in their various monstery ways. The one that’s a zombie is doing the Thriller dance.

RAMOANS
The school is full of mystery
Rock and roll Dracula High School
And that’s just where I wanna be
Rock and roll Dracula High School
Yeah, we’re gonna get some chills
Yeah, we’re gonna get some thrills
Rock and roll Dracula High School

Clint Howard is offering someone ice cream. It has an eyeball in it.

CLINT HOWARD
You scream, I scream, we ALL SCREAM FOR ICE SCREAM! OOOOHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

RAMOANS
Well the girls out here freak me out, you know
Rock and roll Dracula High School
One drives around in a hearse, you know
Rock and roll Dracula High School
Haven’t seen the teachers or the principal
Man, this is one freaky school
Rock and roll Dracula High School

We see Roger Corman dancing. He winks at the camera.

ROGER CORMAN
Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!

RAMOANS
Fun fun, Dracula high school
Fun fun, Dracula high school
Fun fun, Dracula high school
Fun fun, oh baby

Please someone pay me money to make this exist, thank you.

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